


Marry Me

by yusahana6323



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:50:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yusahana6323/pseuds/yusahana6323
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Uruha, it was better to just fold and give in to Reita in arguments and jokes, because the relationship was more important than always getting his way. But when the teasing kept coming with no respite, it began to be more than he could handle, not because he disliked it, but because he couldn't forgive how lightly Reita was taking it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marry Me

    "I'm sorry," Uruha sighed, giving his best friend an apologetic look. "Let's not fight."

    Reita rubbed his temples, and the guitarist saw his shoulders slump a bit. "Okay."

    Uruha looked down at his hands for a moment, taking the time to breathe a bit and let his frustration slip away. Arguments between him and his best friend weren't uncommon. Hell, it happened more than anyone might have thought. It was just that the arguments weren't too serious and easy for Uruha to back down from. Both he and Reita were very stubborn and when neither of them backed down things could get out of hand. (They'd tussled more than just a few times over things.) Even now it was no different. But now, to Uruha, it was more important to just fold and end the argument, especially when it was over trivial things. He liked being in peace, and seeing Reita's smile, better than winning fights. Usually.

    "I'm sorry," he repeated.

    "I get it, Uru. It's fine." And there was that smile now, small and a bit tired, but still the one Uruha liked so much. "God. We fight too much sometimes."

    "Kai says we're like a married couple." Uruha chuckled a bit, remembering the dull face Kai had worn when saying it, though the drummer's eyes had been sparkling with laughter.

    "Maybe we should just get married." Reita moved to sit by him and shouldered him with a mischievous grin. "Marry me?"

    "Oh, stop it."

    "Seriously, marry me."

    Uruha responded by shoving Reita and knocking him onto his side on the sofa. The blonde laughed and shoved back, provoking a match to see who could pin the other down first. It ended with both of them tumbling off the sofa to the floor and laughing like they were kids again. Uruha won this time, pushing Reita down on his back before reclining on top of his stomach, leaning one arm on the blonde's chest.

    "Geez," Reita huffed, the tone of his voice not touching his bemused expression at all. "You just love to be all over me."

    Uruha stuck out his tongue, still laughing. The blonde tried to get up, and Uruha easily pushed him back down, taunting, "You're supposed to be stronger than this. Aren't your guns bigger than Kai's now?"

    "You wouldn't have a chance if I really used all my strength."

    "Prove it."

    The words were barely out of his mouth before he was in the air and Reita slammed him down to the ground, knocking a yelp out of him. The blonde grinned down at him from where he was perched on Uruha's hips, holding his arms to his sides. Uruha struggled a bit, but Reita simply pressed him down harder.

    "Guess I lost that one," Uruha grumbled, ignoring how his heart skipped a beat to have his friend pinning him. His eyes traced up Reita’s arms, the muscles and veins, only partially judging if he could manage to break the hold.

    "You did. Don't ever underestimate my strength again."

    "Fine, fine. Are you going to get off me?"

    "Hmm. Nope. Not until I'm sure you'll remember I'm stronger."

    "You're such a kid." But Uruha was laughing anyway as he said it. "You've made your point."

    "Have I?" Reita chuckled. "Marry me."

    "Oh, knock it off." Uruha wriggled a bit, trying to loosen Reita’s grip. "Let's practise. We have the live soon."

    "Okay." Reita moved off him, stood, and offered him a hand. "I'll let you off for now."

    "So generous." Uruha took his hand, and his friend helped him to his feet. Dusting himself off, he ruffled Reita's hair, making the other scowl at him. "C'mon, let's go."

    He didn't think much about the horseplay and joking around, especially not since they got straight to practise and had a good time with it. They were both smiling, argument forgotten, when Reita left, toting his bass with him, the arm muscles he was so proud of slightly flexed as he carried his instrument. Uruha waited until he heard Reita's prized car start up before going back to his separate life and putting it all out of mind.

    As usual, they ended up texting; they never did really stop talking to each other. They were so close, like brothers or more, and Uruha knew that he could rely on Reita for anything. He trusted the bassist more than anyone else he knew, even his own parents probably. With that degree of closeness, he never really thought about how much they talked. It wasn't strange to him at all that as soon as they were apart they were talking again. Shit, they even texted each other while they were sitting around for the hours before lives started, if they weren't talking directly to each other.

    When things were winding down and Uruha had climbed in bed, they were still talking as usual, and he lay in the dark, messing around on his phone until he got tired enough to put it down.

    <It might be fun though,> he texted when Reita said he wouldn’t be going to a party.

    «Maybe. Well, it's always fun. But I kind of just want to stay at home, you know?»

    <You're such a homebody.> Uruha couldn't help but smile a bit as he sent the message.

    «I am not. I go out.»

    <I have to drag you out. It's so much effort.>

    «It'd be easier if you lived with me instead.»

    Uruha had to laugh. A lot of things would be easier if they lived together. <Maybe I should.>

    «Marry me and you can.»

    Wow, he was really milking this one. Uruha chuckled and shook his head as he responded, <I think you need some sleep. Goodnight, Rei.>

    «Night Uru. Think about it okay?»

    Uruha shook his head again, still smiling, and put his phone down before he curled up in bed and fell asleep. When he woke up the next day and started his normal morning ritual, he internally laughed a bit to think of the joke. It was so like Reita to tease him like that! He was sure his friend would be using it on the rest of the band soon enough.

    "Hey," he greeted his friend when Reita arrived to pick him up for practise. He dropped into the passenger's seat, beaming like he couldn't help but do when he was with the blonde. "Sleep well?"

    "Well enough. Kept thinking of ways to get you to marry me."

    Uruha chuckled and replied, avoiding the topic, "Let's go."

    Practise was fine and everyone was in good spirits. Uruha paid special attention to the conversations Reita was having, because he wanted to hear the punchline dropped with the others and see their reactions. But Reita didn't use it on any of the other three. They left to carpool back home without the bassist asking anyone else the teasing question. Uruha puzzled a bit over it, only paying half attention to the conversation they were having. Maybe it was just a joke Reita would use on him. Something just for the two of them. He didn’t know how he would feel about that.

    "Thanks for the ride," Uruha said, leaning in the window after he had gotten out. "See you later."

    "Sure." A warm, but slightly mischievous smile was turned on him. It even sparkled in his eyes. "Marry me?"

    "Oh, Reita." Uruha laughed and stood up straight. "Later."

    "Later."

    Reita winked at him before he pulled away. Uruha went back inside, went about his day, still texting with Reita, still getting a "marry me" slipped in here and then. When he said goodnight, it was another "marry me" and "think about it". The day after was the same. And the day after that, and the day after that. Reita kept joking with him like that, persistently asking and sneaking the proposal in every day. It even seemed that he dropped it more and more as time went by.

    After a bit, Uruha no longer thought it was funny. He thought Reita should cut back, at the very least. He didn't mind his friend asking him about it, but so often was wearing on him a bit. Not because he was tired of it. On the contrary, he loved it. It tickled a bit inside of him, a secret bit that he hadn't let out and instead kept closed away. And that was why he didn’t laugh anymore, why he couldn't continue listening to Reita pester him like this. It pulled at his heart a little too much.

    Because of that, the worst was when, at a live, right after Ride with the Rockers, Reita grinned at him and threw an arm around his shoulders. And hugging him like that, the blonde said it again. The hurt it dealt his heart couldn’t be cancelled out by the warmth of his friend’s touch. Uruha, already tired and full of emotion, could barely bring himself to just smile back before they parted. Through the rest of the encore, cooling down, finishing and leaving to go home, Uruha just ached. He spent that night curled up in bed, covers pulled over his head, as he tried to tamp everything back and deal with his feelings.

    Part of him wondered if, were he to do what he normally did during arguments or conversations he wasn’t comfortable with and just give in, it would end because the joke would be over. But his pride wouldn’t allow it. Letting Reita play with him like that wasn’t something he could accept in any way.

    About a month later, Reita was over at his place during a break from work activities, and they were playing a game together, nudging and jostling each other to try to knock the other offbalance. Uruha hollered jubilantly when he won and pushed his friend teasingly.

    "I've won three in a row, do you want to give up?"

    "No." Reita stuck out his tongue. "Before we start the next round... have you been thinking at all?"

    "About what?" Uruha asked, knowing perfectly well what.

    "Marrying me."

    "Rei... about that..."

    "Hey, if I win the next round, you'll marry me. Deal?"

    The guitarist sighed, wanting to have a serious talk about it. He needed Reita to stop. It was beginning to hurt too much to hear those words. He still didn’t want to just roll over on the deal, but for now, to get Reita to be quiet about it, Uruha said, "Okay, sure."

    His blonde friend grinned and turned back to the screen, shrugging his shoulders as he settled down into a grounded, almost predatory position. Despite himself, Uruha smiled a bit and followed his lead.

    "You know I'm just going to win again, right?" Even though he wanted Reita to stop asking, there was no way he was going to lose. He wouldn’t just let his friend win; his competitive nature wouldn’t let him.

    "Nope, you're not. I'm winning this round." His face was set, the playful grin replaced with a confident smile. “I have to.”

    “You don’t.”

    “I do.”

    A bit unnerved by Reita’s bold response, Uruha put his focus back on their game, feeling his body tensing with adrenaline, his heart hammering in his chest. As soon as the race start, he slammed his joystick forward until his thumb hurt, teeth grit as if that would help increase force and speed. In the rounds they’d played before, he had easily been able to pass Reita by, but somehow now Reita was keeping pace with him, slowly edging ahead. Had his friend been holding back earlier, or was he seriously doing better just because of their joking bet? The thought gave Uruha’s insides a shiver that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Mentally shaking it off, he focused back on the game, but the moment of distraction took its toll. Reita slid by him and charged the finish, his car crossing the line a good five or so seconds before Uruha’s. Shocked, Uruha stared at the screen as the results flashed, but Reita dropped his controller and thrust his fists into the air.

    “I won!”

    How? Uruha tried to figure out how, out of nowhere, Reita had won. He almost didn’t notice Reita’s joyful celebrating. But then his friend slung an arm around his shoulders and jolted him out of his disbelief.

    “So! The answer is yes, right?”

    Uruha felt something clam up inside him. Still he managed to give a weak smile and say, “That was the agreement, right?”

    “Excellent! We’re getting married!”

    He felt his insides colden a bit at how lightly Reita seemed to be taking the entire thing. He tried to not let it show, though he was certain it further tightened his shoulders.

    “Great.” The blonde grinned and looked down at his phone. “Ah, I need to leave. I’ll talk to you on Monday, okay?”

    “Huh?” That was not something he ever heard unless he knew Reita would actually be out where there was no service. That only happened when Reita was going on a long drive up into the mountains, or was going camping, or something like that. But any other time, he was never told that there would be no communication between them because they didn’t just stop talking. And right after that display, it didn’t make any sense that this would follow.

    “I’ll talk to you then.” Reita squeezed Uruha’s shoulders lightly in a hug. “Have a good weekend.”

    “Rei?”

    The blonde just threw him a smile and half-ran out of the apartment, leaving Uruha still sitting stunned and staring after him. He tried to replay what had just happened so he could make sense out of it, but somehow it seemed jumbled and hard to place together. Reita had won the round, obviously. But had he really just left as if the win had been some sort of requisite for him to run out?

    Reita was joking, that had to be it. Uruha sighed in relief at realising that and picked up his phone to text his friend. He’d get a response back before he fell asleep. Reita wouldn’t keep him waiting. He never did.

    But come four in the morning, and there he was, lying in bed and staring at his phone, nerves grating as he waited for the customary ‘good night’. The thought that maybe something had happened had already passed through him so many times that it was the only thing he was thinking. He tried a message, saying, <Rei? Is everything alright? Are you safe?> and thought that surely that would get an answer. It wasn’t like Reita to make him worry so much, and if he realised it, he’d immediately calm Uruha. That was just the way he was.

    But there was still no message when, having drifted off into anxious dreams mixed with nightmares, Uruha woke in the morning. He was almost in a panic. There was no reason for Reita to not have responded yet. He knew his friend wasn’t out for the weekend, he would have known that a long time ago, and if he had lost his phone he would have let Uruha know some other way. Uruha couldn’t even think that Reita was just ignoring him. So he tried calling, heart beating in his throat. Surely Reita would answer for him, right? And it went through to voice mail. He hung up without leaving a message and pressed his phone to his forehead. What was going on? It didn’t make sense. Reita wouldn’t do this to him. In all these years, Reita had not done this to him. If he didn’t answer text messages, he would answer calls. It had been almost an obsession for him to answer for his family, and for Uruha, as if he were trying desperately to be a better man than his father had in every way possible. Reita would miss calls and texts like any normal person. But not for Uruha.

    Forcing himself into some sort of state of calm, he texted Ruki and asked the vocalist if he’d heard from Reita. If anyone else had heard from him, it probably would be Ruki. The amount of time it took Ruki to get back to him just about drove him mad again, but at least this reply did come. Reita was fine, Ruki said, the bassist said so himself. That eased a bit of Uruha, but it also incited anger in place of the worry. Why respond to Ruki, but not him? The whole ‘talk in a few days’ thing was pissing him off. He tried texting his friend again and then picked up a guitar to take out some frustration. Hours later, still nothing. He threw his phone and listened to it hit the ground and slide down the hallway as he wondered if he had ever been so angry at Reita in his entire life as he was right now.

    He tried to not think about it, because it would just make him angrier. But it was hard not to when it felt like there was a huge hole in his life that was purposefully and spitefully made. There wasn’t someone talking to him through the rest of the day, into the evening, no goodnight and no good morning. Uruha felt dull when he woke on Sunday and stared at his phone again.

    It wasn’t fair. Reita had been almost flirting with him so much the past little while. They’d been even closer. It had buoyed Uruha and helped carry him through because, though it wouldn’t be what he wanted, it was good enough for him. And now suddenly he was alone, and without Reita’s presence, it just crashed harder on him how strongly he felt and how much he wanted his friend around. It wasn’t fair that first Reita had exhausted his feelings and now just dropped him to flounder in the aftermath.

    But of course it wasn’t fair. Reita didn’t feel the same way, after all.

    Somehow he dragged himself through the day, alone and worried and angry and hurt, and as he was brushing his teeth and trying to figure out how he’d face his friend now, he heard his phone chime in his room. He stood frozen, not sure if it was real, but when the ring came again a few moments later, he dropped his brush and flew to his bedroom. Reita’s name blinked cheerfully on the screen. Half-ready to call him and scream at him, mouth full of foaming toothpaste or no, and half-ready to just cry with relief, Uruha opened the messages.

    «I’ll be there to pick you up in the morning. Goodnight.»

    And the second one: «Hope you’ve had a good weekend.»

    Uruha actually spat mint froth onto his phone, he couldn’t believe the audacity of those texts. How dare Reita act like he hadn’t just abandoned Uruha and refused to speak to him for two days! He just about sent a response telling Reita exactly what to do and where to do it, but he made himself put the phone down and go back to the bathroom. As he finished washing out his mouth, he told himself that it would be fine and to just swallow it back and fold like he usually did, because Reita wouldn’t understand what he did wrong, and it wasn’t like it was a huge thing. Lots of people went days without talking to their best friends. It wasn’t like he had died from lack of communication. It just really, really hurt.

    When he turned out the lights and lay down, he debated for a couple of minutes on whether or not to respond. He sorely wanted to. But he refrained. Maybe if he didn’t, Reita would sense he was a bit upset. That would be nice, at least. Uruha closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to force himself to calm for maybe the thousandth time this weekend. He flipped over to face away from his phone and shut his eyes tightly, waiting in tenseness until his mind let it go and he slipped into a restless sleep.

    For the first time in as long as he could remember, he didn’t want to get out of bed to see Reita. He wanted to just lie there and stew in anger over being ignored and pushed aside for who knew what reason. He might have done just that, if he didn’t know that Kai would throw a fit and come drag him to the studio for the meetings. With a groan, he pulled himself out of bed, washed and dressed, and sat in the kitchen, just waiting. His heart was beating dully in his chest, pulsing with the faint anger and hurt. He knew he would manage to fight it back, because he always did. As soon as Reita smiled at him everything would be fine. Uruha just didn’t know if he could continue to be fine if his friend didn’t give the teasing up.

    His phone chimed, Reita telling him, «Waiting in the garage.» Uruha took a deep breath to steel himself before he picked up his bag and left his apartment to go downstairs. He found the red Mustang in the usual spot Reita would park, and the blonde inside wearing his usual grin. Doing his best to summon even a half-smile, Uruha threw his bag into the backseat.

    “Morning, Uru.”

    “Morning.”

    “How was your weekend?”

    Again Uruha had to clench his jaw to keep back the want to scream. Fighting his emotions back, he said in a somewhat-calm voice, “Quiet.”

    “Really? Didn’t get up to anything?”

    “No, not really. Just played some games.” What, was Reita going to act like he hadn’t just done something so out of the ordinary?

    “Sounds good. Speaking of…”

    Reita hadn’t started driving yet. Uruha felt worry mounting a bit. Reita was so steady and reliable. This sort of break in pattern, from the weekend of silence to not immediately falling into driving his beloved car, was honestly starting to stir a bit of panic in Uruha. What was going on? Had he done something wrong to deserve the cold shoulder and the sudden serious talk?

    “… sorry I wasn’t texting you this weekend.”

    Oh thank god, at least he recognised it. A bit of tension left Uruha. He let out a small sigh of relief and asked, “Why didn’t you?”

    “I had a lot of things to focus on. I kind of wanted the quiet and time to myself.”

_Well then why the hell didn’t you just say that!?_ was what the guitarist about shouted at the top of his lungs. But what he actually said, thankfully, was simply, “Oh.”

    “There was something really important to do. I’m sorry I kind of neglected you for it.”

    Uruha grimly thought to himself that it had better damn well have been important or Reita would be regretting it. His heart was still in his throat, and he hoped that if he just let Reita keep talking, he’d figure things out. But he prompted, “What was it?”

    “Well…” Reita had a small smile on his face, and was looking at Uruha in a way Uruha hadn’t seen since the last time they were at a huge social outing. It was a shy gaze, as if he were trying to hide away from something but wanted to stay close to Uruha. “You remember what we were talking about before I left?”

    Boy, did he. “Yeah.”

    “Well… I’ve been working on this for a bit, and after Friday, I really moved forward with it. Yamashita helped me do it custom.” Reita reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Uruha felt his stomach drop through the ground. “But… well… here. To make it official.”

    Uruha wanted to say something to make it stop, but his words wouldn’t make it out of his throat. The box opened, revealing a silver ring, its surface lightly rippling, the inner face carved in delicate but handsome patterns. A tiny diamond sparkled, hidden off-centre in one of the valleys of the soft waves.

    “For you.”

    He stared at the ring for a long time, his mind in a tempest. He didn’t even know what he was thinking, he was so mixed up inside. Somehow, he managed to raise his gaze to Reita’s face, which was soft, eyes bright, a smile on his mouth. And then Uruha punched him straight in the face.

    “Ow! What the hell!”

    It hadn’t been his own will, but he wasn’t complaining, because Reita really fucking deserved it. As his friend looked at him, eyes wide and hand over his cheek and nose, Uruha couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

    “You gigantic fucking noseless _asshole_!” he half-screamed, squeezing his fists tightly to try to hold back another strike. “Bastard!”

    “Uruha!”

    “What the hell is wrong with you!? I can’t fucking believe you!”

    “Uruha –“

    “Don’t you ‘Uruha’ me, Akira!”

    Reita flinched at the sound of his real name. They didn’t use those often, not anymore, and Uruha was just angry enough to snap back to it. It seemed to make Reita realise how upset he was. Glaring at him, Uruha continued.

    “What were you thinking!?”

    “I thought –“

    “This isn’t a fucking game!”

    “I don’t think it’s a game!” Reita looked up at him, his face clouding slightly with frustration. His voice was loud and slightly confused.

    “Asking me to marry you all the time, joking about it so much, even on stage, then fucking making me say ‘yes’ by winning in a round of a racing game? That’s you taking it as a game, Akira!”

    “It’s not a game to me! I’m really fucking serious, Kouyou!”

    He was upset too, huh. Uruha didn’t care. This was too much. Now his heart had caught up to his mind and he felt like he was dying. Did Reita even realise what he was doing? No, of course not.

    “How the hell am I supposed to think you’re serious? You’re always talking about how you’ll take anyone. ‘Custom ring’ my ass! How many other people have you used it on after joking with them?”

    “No one! This is brand new! I’m not kidding around!”

    “Fuck you!” Uruha shouted at the top of his lungs, not caring if other residents of the building were appearing and staring. “You think everything is a fucking joke! And I thought you were my friend, but I’m just the punchline to your fucking jokes!”

    “I don’t –“

    “Go fuck yourself!”

    “Kouyou, I’m not –”

    “Go fuck yourself in hell!” Uruha climbed out of the car without opening the door and grabbed his bag from the backseat, so furious he could cry. He probably was about to start crying. He was so hurt and so humiliated… the tears were already in his throat. He needed to get out of here before everyone saw him break down.

    “I mean everything I say to you! Don’t you know that? I would never joke about something like this with you.”

    “Shut up! Just shut up!” He kicked the car and saw Reita flinch again. Of course. Reita cared more about the car than he did about Uruha’s feelings. Uruha kicked it again, ignoring the pain in his toe. “Go fuck yourself! Don’t talk to me again!”

    “Kouyou!”

    Uruha stormed away, all too aware now of the stares and whispers of his neighbours. He went towards his car, but before he reached it someone grabbed his arm. Whirling, he saw Reita trying to pull him back.

    “Let go!”

    “Don’t just walk away from me like this!”

    Not even feeling sorry, Uruha threw a second punch – Reita ducked, but not quickly enough, and Uruha’s fist smashed into his nose. Reita let go of him and staggered back a couple steps, howling in pain. Uruha didn’t stay, just hurried to his car, climbed in, and drove out quickly, passing Reita who stood staring after him. He was so angry and so focused on his anger that he hardly paid attention to the traffic and came close to almost hitting someone. That jarred him a bit, so he pulled into a parking lot that was mostly empty to calm down.

    But as soon as the engine was off, he started crying, like he had been trying to keep himself from doing. He didn’t want to cry about this, but Reita was being such an ass! His heart was hurting like he had never thought it could. They were words he wanted to hear, though it was so hard to admit it even to himself. He wanted to hear Reita ask the question, wanted Reita to give him a ring made just for him, wanted to see Reita smiling at him like that. He wanted it. For Reita to treat it so lightly was a deep knife of betrayal that just kept twisting in his heart to make him bleed more. And he was bleeding out, his whole body aching from loss as the pain squeezed him tightly. Uruha slumped back and covered his face, sobbing shamelessly and trying his very best to not replay the images, the words, Reita’s voice, Reita’s smile, trying to shove them out of memory so he wouldn’t reflect on them at any time.

    It was impossible, but he could try.

    It seemed like he was crying for years before he noticed his phone was ringing, and he took a moment to check to see who it was. Not Reita, but Kai. Taking a few deep breaths to try to steady his voice, he answered.

    “Uru, where the hell are you?” Kai’s impatient voice demanded before Uruha could even say anything. “Is Reita with you?”

    “No,” Uruha basically snapped. “He’s not.”

    “Do you know where he is?”

    “I couldn’t care less.”

    A pause. He could hear the questions Kai wanted to ask in the silence. But to his great relief, Kai didn’t ask. What he did ask was, “Are you feeling okay? If you can’t come in, we can work around it.”

    “I’ll come.” He had to force himself to say it, because he wanted to take the excuse to go home and bury himself in his covers. But he had to be better than that. He couldn’t let Reita stop his life. Or he had to at least try. “I’ll be there soon.”

    “Okay. Drive safe, yeah?”

    “Thanks.”

    He hung up and gripped the steering wheel tightly, stared at his hands as his knuckles turned white. When he felt like he had relaxed enough to drive safely, he started the car and drove to the studio. Before he went to the meeting room, he stopped in the bathroom and washed his face with cold water, hoping that the time it took would clear his eyes so no one would know he had been breaking down just a short time ago. He walked to the room slowly, hoping that Reita wouldn’t be there (though he knew Reita had to be, or at least on his way). The blonde head wasn’t present when he opened the door, though, and he felt a bit faint with relief.

    “You finally made it,” Kai said and waved him in. “Come on in.”

    Uruha stepped inside and located a chair he could sit in without having Reita near, whenever the stupid bassist arrived. Aoi looked at him as he seated himself, eyebrows raised, before Ruki kicked him lightly and the darker guitarist turned back with a small chuckle. Uruha tried to immerse himself in what their manager was talking about, but he was happy to let Ruki speak for him. Not long after, though, the door opened again, and Uruha felt himself stiffen.

    “Reita,” Ruki said, turning. “Nice of you to show up.”

    “Sorry I’m late. Car trouble.”

    The bassist’s voice sounded dejected. Uruha felt his heart tighten a bit as he heard the tone his friend was speaking with. He could almost believe that Reita was truly upset. But he wouldn’t let himself think that way. It wasn’t true. He couldn’t afford to even try to sympathise. The blonde appeared on the other side of the table, taking one of the seats by Kai. Uruha saw his friend turning to look at him, so he quickly glanced away, watching their manager instead. He could feel the amber eyes on him though, could clearly imagine the imploring look in them. He knew it well. But he wasn’t going to give in. Not this time. If there was one thing in the world he would refuse to bend to Reita for, it would be this. He couldn’t just let himself be walked over.

    “Did you get in a wreck?” Ruki asked of Reita once they had called for a break. “Your face is turning black.”

    “Slipped and bashed my face on the birds’ cage. You should have heard them scream.”

    “I bet.”

    Uruha still wasn’t looking his way. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t let himself. No matter how much he wanted to, he wouldn’t. He kept his head turned the entire break, pretending to text other friends so no one would bother him. He knew the other three could tell that he and Reita were having some sort of argument – there was no way they couldn’t tell. Kai certainly knew, otherwise he wouldn’t have offered to let Uruha stay home. He just hoped they’d leave him alone about it.

    “So editing for tonight,” their manager said after they had finished everything. “Who’s up?”

    “Uruha. And Reita should do it, too,” Kai suggested before anyone else could volunteer. Uruha gaped wordlessly at him, completely taken aback. The only thing he could think was, _I trusted you!_

    “Great idea. So you two, head in. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

    “Work hard.” The drummer smiled cheerfully as he said it and clapped a hand onto Reita’s shoulder. “We’ll see you two tomorrow.”

    And he strode out, bag slung over his shoulder, as if he hadn’t just sentenced Uruha to a nightmare. The guitarist looked around to Aoi and Ruki, but they were too busy talking to notice his pleading face. They left without so much as glancing at him, and he and Reita were left alone with their manager. Uruha slowly turned to face the only person that could save him now, and he got a slightly-apologetic smile in return.

    “Work it out, you two.”

    Then they were left behind, and a heavy silence filled the room. Uruha still didn’t look at Reita. Part of him hoped that if he ignored it, this would all go away, everyone would come back, he’d be allowed to go home and be pathetic on his own. But it didn’t come, and Reita’s voice broke the silence, asking timidly, “Uru? Will you look at me?”

    He chose to not respond, though on instinct he almost did just turn. After so long, it was a struggle to fight what had become normal.

    “Please.”

    Uruha bit his tongue, his vision flashing a bit.

    “Please.”

    That plea sounded so broken that Uruha’s heart ached, and despite his better judgement, he turned and looked at his friend. Reita stared up at him, his eyes dark, face almost pitiful under the bruises that were becoming very clear. The plaintive look his friend was giving him somehow tore his heart more.

    “What?” Uruha asked angrily, trying to fight back the want to cry and hug Reita. Absolutely not! No more giving in! Not to this!

    “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

    God, Uruha’s will was holding on by a thread. He wanted to scream at Reita some more, but he was swaying in keeping himself angry. It was so hard, when Reita’s low voice was like that, when his expression was like that, when he was apologising like that. He looked like a child that had been harshly reprimanded and was about to cry in shame.

    “I didn’t realise that you weren’t… I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

    Uruha looked away so he didn’t have to keep seeing Reita’s face.

    “I thought… I just…” In the pause, Uruha could almost hear his friend mentally floundering for words. “I don’t have any excuse. I really don’t. I’m sorry.”

    “What were you thinking?” He heard how rough his voice was, and he willed himself to not start crying again. It might do Reita some good to see how upset he was, but he didn’t want to.

    “That you… well… I can’t say it. It’s not fair to you. I’m sorry, Uruha, please just forgive me and we’ll move past this. I won’t do it again.”

    “What were you thinking?”

    Uruha had said it louder than intended, but he had to know. He couldn’t just move on. He had to know exactly what Reita had been thinking, so he could keep it in mind and thus keep himself in line. There were a few moments of silence before the blonde spoke again.

    “I thought you really wanted to.”

    Slowly, Uruha turned around and looked at him again, a bit suspicious whether Reita was speaking the truth. But those amber eyes, usually so bright, were now dimmed and not hiding anything. The blonde stared back at him and added after a moment, “I thought that you actually maybe liked me back.”

    He was sure his jaw had hit the floor. Managing to regain himself, he said, “You aren’t allowed to talk like that.” Uruha could hear his voice shaking. Was Reita seriously suggesting that he had feelings for Uruha? He couldn’t believe it. There was no way he could. “You aren’t allowed to say something like that!”

    “I’m sorry. If I had realised that you didn’t feel… if you didn’t like it, you should have just said so. I would have stopped. But you let it keep going, so…”

    Uruha hadn’t liked it, not in the least. But not for that reason. He mentally shook himself and snapped, “You can’t just joke around like that. It needs to stop, Reita.”

    “I’m not joking!” Now Reita’s eyes met his again, and they were almost furious. “All this time I thought we were… I mean, we’ve spent so much more time together and we’re always… and on stage… I’m sorry. I just jumped to conclusions. I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again. I know now.”

    Uruha wanted to scream again.  He didn’t even know what to say. No matter what Reita said, he was still deeply hurt by everything that had happened, and knowing that Reita had done all this because he had just assumed things and hadn’t bothered to even talk to him about it just made it worse. But at the same time, his hopes were also so high now that maybe it was the truth that he wanted to just give in after all.

    “You can go home,” Reita said quietly, looking away. “I’ll go in for the editing. You don’t need to.”

    Uruha tried to think of something to say, but still coming up with nothing, he simply picked up his bag and left. He was too confused and conflicted to stay. He was barely aware of the fact that he drove all the way home; he only felt when he dropped into bed, and then he came back to himself. He lay, staring into nowhere, mind churning with Reita’s words, still trying to process and organise them. It took a while before they finally settled in, and his head was clear enough to truly think.

    Reita liked him. Reita liked him enough to want to marry him. Reita… loved him? He hadn’t said that, but it was implied. Uruha felt tears come to his eyes again, but he did nothing to stop them, so they slid slowly down his face and soaked into the sheets. Reita loved him, had done all this because he’d thought they were in love…

    They were, Uruha realised now. They loved each other. But God, this was not how he had wanted to find this out! Reita loved him. His heart ached with joy as much as it was still suffering from the feeling of betrayal. He didn’t know how, in any universe, his friend had thought it would be okay to just up and propose without them actually having a proper admittance to each other, actually dating or actually talking something like that through. It wasn’t okay. It hurt. Of course Uruha had reacted poorly, he would have been furious that Reita did something like that, on so stupid a thing, even if they had been dating for some time. It was not something to be taken lightly!

    But now Reita thought that Uruha didn’t return the feelings. Uruha realised his reaction to Reita’s confession and his actions after would have nailed the coffin shut. With those, no wonder Reita believed that way. Uruha mentally floundered, still hurting, to try to figure out what to do.

    After a bit he fumbled for his phone, intending to call his sister to cry to her about it and ask her advice. But turning it on, the notifications of all the texts he had been too angry to pay notice to caught his eye. The number had climbed since he had left the studio. After a short debate, he opened his messages and started reading texts from Reita that, according to timestamp, had been sent right after he’d sped away from the apartment building.

    «Please come back, let’s talk about this.»

    «Uruha, please don’t ignore me.»

    «I don’t want it to be like this. I’m sorry.»

    «I’m so sorry.»

    «Kouyou, I’m sorry. Please talk to me.»

    «Please don’t do this, Kouyou. At least text me, please.»

    But there were several more, received in the time it had taken him to drive home from the studio.

    «I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did. You’re right, I’m a jerk. I knew I shouldn’t, but my stupidity got the better of me. My feelings got the better of me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were a joke, or being played along. I didn’t mean that. You’re the most important person in the world to me, Kouyou. I’ve never wanted to put you down or hurt you. I didn’t do any of it with the intention to hurt you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry.»

    «I won’t ask you to forgive me. What I did wasn’t acceptable. I’ll understand if you hate me for the rest of your life. That was a really, really shitty thing to do. I wish I could make it up to you. But what I said was the truth. I really wanted it. I really hoped for it. I really thought that we were like that. Or I guess I dreamed we were. I shouldn’t have let my fantasies get the better of me. I’m so sorry, Kouyou. I’m so sorry. I just want you to know I mean what I said.»

    And the next one made the tears start again, made his chest contract so tightly that he couldn’t breathe, and sobs choked out of him.

    «I’ve always loved you more than anything.»

    Uruha couldn’t bear how much he had cried today. It was like the switch had been flipped and everything he’d been suppressing all this time, all these years, was fighting to get out and be released from being held captive. He didn’t understand how, after reading that text, he curled up and sobbed for who knew how long. But when that wave passed, and he was lying exhausted, his whole body throbbing from pushing everything out in tears, he was staring at the text message still, reading the words over and over again.

    Reita loved him. The man he’d loved so much was telling him now that he loved him too.

    He didn’t know how he made the decision, especially after how fiercely he’d been holding himself back all this time in order to preserve his personal pride. But, as soon as he thought he could manage it, he got up, washed his face, and got in the car. He drove to the studio, parked in his normal place, and ran up the stairs. His heart was back in his throat. The pain of the morning was lingering, and he doubted it would go away anytime soon. But with it now was adrenaline and anxiety, fear that he had lost what he had so wanted.

    Arriving at the door, he stopped, panting slightly, and peered through the glass. He saw Reita’s blonde head over the back of the sofa, tilted up towards the screens that faced the door. Uruha leaned against the door and took out his phone, wrote just one tiny sentence that was so full of meaning, and sent it to Reita before looking back into the room. He saw Reita’s head turn, then bow, and then almost disappear as the blonde leaned forward. He bit his lip, suddenly wanting to fold after all, to go in and hug his friend tightly and just tell him. But he made himself wait. Reita stood, seeming to have a short exchange with the engineer, and turned, walking for the door, head down and phone out in front of him. Uruha quickly stood back a few paces so his friend wouldn’t see him immediately. The door opened, and Reita came out, leaned back against the door, and slid to the floor. He didn’t even notice Uruha. He just pulled his knees to his chest and buried his blackened face in them.

    Uruha broke. He couldn’t stay cold anymore. Especially not now that this man had said the feelings were mutual. He took the few steps to Reita. The blonde’s head shot up, and he stared up at Uruha, eyes so wide Uruha was afraid that Reita might actually be in pain. But he dropped to his knees and pulled Reita into a tight hug, and only once his friend was in his arms did the pain start to fade. Just a little bit, but it still helped him feel lighter.

    “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his nose and lips almost crushed against Reita’s ear. “I’m sorry.”

    “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry. I was so stupid.”

    Uruha didn’t know how long they sat there embracing each other, whispering apologies over and over, in the hallway. Eventually their voices faded, and they were just holding on in silence, soaking in the feeling of being in each other’s arms, letting themselves mend. Uruha chose to speak first after a while, not moving even a bit because this position was too comfortable.

    “I love you, Reita. Akira. I love you, so so much. That’s why… I reacted that way. You never said anything about liking me, so I just assumed you were joking. And it hurt.”

    “I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even think. I’m so sorry, Kouyou. Please forgive me. I do love you. I will tell you as much as you want me to.” Reita lifted his head now, so Uruha moved to look at his friend. The bassist’s eyes were still so sorrowful that Uruha wanted to cry. “I love you. I didn’t mean to ever make you feel so upset. I should have noticed I was hurting you.”

    “I learned to hide it really well. Seems you did too.”

    Reita closed his eyes, nodding slightly. Uruha rested his forehead on Reita’s, shifting his body so that he pressed more against his friend’s strong body. Once more there was silence for a while, and Uruha didn’t mind one bit. He could sit like this all night, in Reita’s arms, with Reita in his arms. After some time, Reita took a deep breath and spoke again.

    “I guess I should return that ring.”

    “You could hold onto it. You never know.”

    A pause, and then Reita let out a soft laugh.

    “Well, this is cleared up. So… marry me?”

    “God. You’re such an idiot.” Uruha couldn’t help but chuckle a bit too. “Let’s date for a bit first.”

    “Fair enough. How about a kiss?”

    “That’s a good place to start.”

    They both hesitated and just looked at each other for a few moments. Uruha found himself staring into Reita’s eyes again, seeing every feeling he’d experienced today reflected in the amber depths. Reita’s palm stroked his cheek and he shivered a bit, enjoying the friction. He leaned in with the blonde, and they paused for a moment, just a breath apart, before joining. Tingling shot all the way through Uruha as he kissed the man he’d been with so long, who he had loved for so long and wanted so long. The feel of their lips together was the only thing keeping him anchored. Even the lingering pain had floated away in the moments he and Reita embraced.

    Reita pulled back first, and Uruha came back to himself, though his body still felt light and high. Their lips were still brushing as they gazed at each other. Uruha wanted to go back for more immediately but he held himself back, instead focusing on Reita’s eyes, on his breath, on the lingering taste. It was better than a dream. But the best was when Reita leaned back in and took another one, and Uruha didn’t fight at all. He was done fighting. He’d give in and let Reita win anything he wanted.

    “I wish we’d done that sooner.”

    “Same,” Uruha breathed. “We can make up for it?”

    “Planning on it.”

    There was a knock behind them. Uruha jumped high and whirled around to see the editor looking down at them.

    “Are you two wanting to go home?” he called through the glass.

    The two of them looked at each other before Uruha asked, “Is that okay?”

    “Go on. I don’t want to see any of that mushy stuff right now.”

    Reita chuckled softly. The bright warmth was back in his eyes, Uruha noted, his sunny smile in place. He didn’t want to get up, but when his friend stood, Uruha got to his feet too. They wrapped arms around each other’s shoulders and walked down the hall, leaning together as if to take healing comfort from each other to replace what had happened that morning. When they got to the garage, Uruha looked down at his friend.

    “Come to my place?”

    “Sure.” Reita chuckled a bit. “How could I say no?”

    “You can’t.” Uruha smiled and squeezed Reita tightly. “I’ll see you there.”

    He didn’t want to let go, but they both needed to drive. It was too long before they were back at Uruha’s apartment, and they embraced tightly again, tension and pain slowly melting from them until they slumped onto a sofa to relax. It was so comfortable, finally being with Reita like this, knowing that the feelings he had suffered so long alone were shared and enjoying the loving contact, that before long Uruha was already drifting off, exhausted from the emotional marathon he’d run through the day. As he was almost asleep he heard Reita murmur, “Marry me,” again, and this time, Uruha only smiled.

    “Maybe someday,” he whispered back, and the last thing he heard was Reita’s soft laugh against his ear.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea based mostly on the premise that the other members (and Reita himself) are continually joking that Reita would ask almost anyone to marry him, and the question from the Fadeless signings where Uruha answered that when there were arguments with Reita, "maybe it's [Uruha]" that gives in first.


End file.
